Heart's Song
by DarkLadyBastila
Summary: Mace Windu, Depa Billaba, throw them together and what do you get? One sorry heart breaking story. Enjoy and keep tissues handy.
1. Chapter One

Chapter one:

The merchant vessel hung lifeless in space, drifting soundlessly in the starry black void. The space around it was littered with debris, pieces of the ship itself knocked off and bits of cargo that hadn't been pillaged. The sides of the ship were scarred black from laser fire. It was a sad monument to the battle that had taken place here mere hours before.

The pirate ship that had been responsible had long since fled when the Jedi's small vessel came upon it. The ship had sent distress signal after distress signal, hoping for salvation yet none had came, all to far out of range. It was only by chance that it was found now, and so soon.

In the Jedi vessel's cockpit Captain Tal Na'Hedl was staring wordlessly out the view port, regret and anger coursing through him at the site of the wreckage. Just a little faster and they could have saved it. Just a little faster and many lives could have been spared.

Standing next to him, calm and yet some how so terribly intimidating, the dark skinned Jedi Master Mace Windu also gazed out the view port.

"Is there any life left on board?" He asked.

The pilot shook his head.

"Not likely sir. Job like this, they wouldn't have left any survivors."

"Scan it anyway."

The captain's first instinct was to argue- it was pointless, he knew there was no way anyone had survived. But one look at that dangerously calm dark visage was enough to quell any argument.

"Yes sir, right away sir." He said meekly, and began fiddling with the ships instruments.

"Looks like a Chalactan merchant vessel." the captain said, filling the silence that ensued as the ship's systems scanned the other ship for life forms.

Lights blinked and beeped on the control panel as he punched something into the terminal and watched the results pop up on the screen.

"Well I'll be darned, there is something... but it's very faint. Probably some poor bloke they left to die."

Master Windu nodded almost imperceptibly. "Bring us up along side it. We're boarding. Whatever it is, they need help."

"Yes sir, right away sir."

Master Windu had boarded the broken vessel alone, donning a heavy environmental suit and a scanner that was a smaller version of the life form reader on the ship.

Though he could sense the tiny presence surprisingly clear through the Force, the captain had insisted he take this particular piece of equipment with him, just in case. He had done so, if only to calm the jumpy little man down.

If the outside of the ship had been bad, the inside was hell.

The pirates had not been scrupulous in their killing... Master Windu couldn't bring himself to look at the bodies, stepping reverently over charred remains and keeping his focus completely on the life form. Nothing could be done for them now.

It was close, so close. He could feel it.

He gingerly stepped over a partially lowered durasteel door that led into what appeared to be a bunking area, the presence weighing strongly upon his mind within the Force as the scanner began to beep loudly.

Seeing no living person in sight, he was momentarily confused.

_"It should be here... right here..."_ he thought, looking down at what had once been a Chalactan female.

"Wait..."

There was something in the woman's arm, a bundle of cloth. The presence he felt... it was coming from there. He was sure of it.

Calling apron the Force to center himself Master Windu crouched beside the corpse and ever so gently pried the dead woman's arm from around the bundle, lifting it in his arms.

Pulling away the soft folds of he fabric he was a little shocked, even though he had been on some level expecting it... wrapped within the bundle was a baby, tiny and dark-skinned dark hair just barely visible upon the crown of its head. It, no, _she_ he realized, was sleeping fitfully, completely oblivious to the death that had happened around her.

And what was more the Force seemed to blossom around the child.

Master Windu held her close, smiling slightly as he pulled his com-link from his utility belt and switched it on.

"Captain, I think I found our life form..."


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter two:

"Trained, you think this child should be?"

"Yes Masters. The Force is strong with her. Surely you can feel this as well as I?"

"Feel it, we can. An interesting thing, it is."

"Then there should be no problem, should there?"

Master Mace Windu had returned to Coruscant immediately after his discovery of the Chalactan baby. The trip back had been most amusing for both Jedi and crew... the child had proven to be very vocal, to say the least, and sleep seemed a foreign thing to her. All in all the Captain had been relieved to be rid of the Jedi and his small companion.

After reporting on the results of his mission and the fate of the Chalactan merchant ship (Which he had been assured would be taken care of sometime in the immediate future) he had proceeded to present the girl to the Jedi Council.

He stood now within the circle of the Council member's chairs, holding the baby tightly in his arms. For some reason that he could not quite explain he felt almost protective of her. The poor thing had suffered so much...

"Clouded, I feel her future is. Odd, for one so young, hmmm?" Master Yoda regarded Mace through his large, twinkling green eyes, leaning forward and resting his weight on his gimmer stick.

"Wise to train her, I do not know. Other things than a Jedi, she could be."

Next to him, Ki-Adi-Mundi leaned forward slightly in his seat and said, "Also, we wonder if the group of merchants on the ship where you found her were identified yet."

Mace shifted his weight, trying not to become frustrated. She should be a Jedi, he knew it. Why was it so hard to decide? She was young, a mere baby. She would be raised as a Jedi. It shouldn't be a dificult desicion.

"No, Master, no investigation has yet been made." He said slowly. "And with all do respect, I believe it was the will of the Force that brought me to find this child. She will make a great Jedi, I can feel it."

"Ah, so certain are you? Telling you, the Force is, or your soft heart?" Yoda said.

Mace shifted again, looking down at the baby he held in his arms. She was sleeping again at last, one small fist clutching the front of his robes. He had to smile, inspite of himself.

"Your point is well taken, Master, but my feelings for this child do not extend beyond the moment... I've known her for scarcely a few days." he said, looking back up at the Masters.

"Hmmm. Very well, to me bring the child. Decide, the Council shall. Wait you will, and accept our descision, you must."

Slowly, almost reluctantly, Mace stepped forward and ever so gentley handed the baby over to Yoda. The small green Jedi Master cradled her in his arms, the equivalent of a smile on his small face. Master Yoda's love of children was well known. Training the younglings was his favorite pastime.

Mace backed away, bowing respectfuly, then retreated from the room as requested.

The waiting was unbarable. Mace didn't understand why the descision should be so hard.

He paced up and down the hallway outside the Council Chamber, waiting, hoping... he didn't know why he was so worried, it seemed perfectly obvious to him that the girl should be trained. There was no reason why she should not be trained, after all. Plenty of babies were brought to the temple. it wasn't like he had given them a full grown child...

"Enough. They'll do whatever they want to do and I'll just have to deal with it." He told himself, stopping in his pacing.

He walked over to one of the large windows and gazed out at the buisy city world that surrounded the temple, reaching into the Force to center himself.

The sun was just going down, casting an orange light over the metalic buildings and making them shimmer and glint in an almost beautiful way. Mace by far prefered wildlife and forestry to cities, do, he thought, more than likely to the nature of his own homeworld, but even he had to admit Coruscant had its own... something. Not exactly _beauty_, but an awe inspiring gloriousness. A whole world turned into a city... it was quite the accomplishment.

Mace's reverie was interrupted by the sound of door clicking open behind him as the Council beckoned for his return.

_'Finally...'_ he couldn't help but think.

Returning to the center of the Council chamber he saw that Yoda still held the girl in his arms and was still smiling in his own way. The other Council members wore looks that ranged between amusement and fould attempts to keep straight faces.

_'What I wouldn't give to know what happened...'_ Mace thought, shaking his head ever so slightly. It was every Jedi,including his own, dream to one day sit on the Council. But even he had to say they were a little on the odd side. Having wisdom must do that to a person.

Master Yoda took his time in speaking, no doubt, Mace thought, it was a way to test his patience. Thus he stood obediently still and silent, waiting with barely concealed anxiety.

"To be a Jedi," Yoda said at last, "She will be."

Mace let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding then bowed low. "Thank you masters..."

"Thank us not. For her, it would be best we feel. Not you." Yoda said, and Mace could have sworn he was smirking. "Wonder we do, does the child have a name?"

Mace shook his head. "I do not know, Master."

"Then name her, we shall. Ideas, you have." it was a statement, not a question.

"Yes, Master. I had been thinking of a name... In my travels I have had a chance to meet more than once with Chalactan culture and traditions and I was thinking..."

"Yes?"

"I would like to call her Depa. It..."

"Explain not. Know something of Chalactans, do I as well. Depa, we will name her."

Mace bowed again, resisting the urge to grin as he looked at the small baby held in the Jedi Master's arms. Little Depa...


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three:

_'Focus...focus...'_

The gentle humming of the lightsaber filled the small training room, echoing off tiled floors. Master Yoda's gravely voice was a calming center point, ever so gently instructing- "Use the Force, you must. Reach out with your feelings. Focus."

The word seemed to echo through Depa's mind..._focus_

It was easy enough for him, being able to see, she thought bitterly. When constricted by big, heavy and extremely dark blast shield helmet 'easy' and 'focus' simply did not run together.

The desire to know what the other students where doing was almost overpowering. Every now and then she thought she could hear a giggle... were they laughing at her or something else? Were they even watching? And with a short, typical nine year old attention span she couldn't help but think she would rather be doing something else... anything else.

The disciplined, Jedi part of her mentality told her she should be feeling for the training droid. She could hear it, it was close, posed and ready to shoot at any moment. The thing was, she _couldn't_ feel it.

Maybe it was her own preoccupation or some thing else more elusive, but it seemed to her that the Force was pupously evading her grasp. Every time she reached for it it danced away, like an itch just out of reach.

She knew she should know that it was her own fault and there was something she was doing wrong, but it was far easier to blame the Force itself. It just didn't seem to like her and...

_Zap!_

She heard the blast as if from a great distance and small hands moved her lightsaber quickly in an attempt to block... and didn't even come close.

"Ouch!" She jumped as the shot stung her leg like a wasp sting. The movement sent her helmet flying from her head. A wild attempt to catch it caused her to stumble backwards, tripping over her own feet.

Her saber fell from her grasp and rolled away, and she found herself on the ground, a searing pain lancing up her backbone.

The pain of the fall was nothing compared to what she felt at the sound of her fellow student's laughter.

Yoda made a clicking sound deep in his throat. "Trust the Force, you did not."

Depa looked up at him, winceing. It seemed to her that bright green eyes looking back at her were full of disapointment. Maybe they were. it was hard to see anything through the tears that were slowly forming in her own eyes.

She blinked furiously and stood, bowing low.

"I'm sorry Master, I tried..."

Yoda's interjection sounded incredibly harsh to her ears. "There is no try, youngling. One does, or one does not. If think in 'try' you do, fail you will." he thumped his gimmer stick on the floor for emphasis.

"Of course Master, I understand." Depa bowed again, blushing in shame.

Yoda shook his head, his large ears twitching. "No, understand you do not. But soon, Youngling. Soon. Over, this class is. To the evening meal, you Younglings should go."

He waved a small hand in dismisal and turned to leave the room himself, leaning heavily on his gimmer stick.

The other students filed out after him, and it seemed to Depa that they still laughed at her clumsyness, casting smirks and sneers in her direction.

Face still red with shame she retrieved her lightsaber and hooked it in its place on her belt.

It just wasn't fair. It was such a simple training excersise, everyone else had done it with relative ease. Why couldn't she? Why couldn't she feel the Force as surely as the others? When it was there, when she could feel it, it was strong. It seemed the possibilities of what she could do with it were endless, any task was made simple. But more often than not it wasn't there, and she couldn't feel it. Try as she might, she couldn't ever seem to reach it when she wanted to.

The scorn of the other students and the silent concern of teachers was unbarable. She knew what they were all thinking. 'Weak', 'Pathetic', never meant to be a Jedi. Maybe they were right, but she certainly didn't want to admit it.

While the rest of the students flooded into the cafeteria, chattering and giggling amungst themselves Depa went in the other direction, heading for the large chamber the Jedi used for sparring. If she had to practice all night she was going to get it right.

_"Focus...Focus..."_

Depa thumbed the ignition button on her lightsaber and the bright emerald blade sprang to life with a _snap-hiss_ that dulled to a gentle hum. Set to low power it could do little more than cause a stinging welt, but still the weapon inspired confidence in her heart. She could do this.

Slowly she ran through the movements of the first lightsaber form, the only one she really knew. Gaining confidence she moved faster, following through on the strikes more.

Hesitantly, almost fearful, she reached out for the Force. There it was, such a beautiful empowering thing... for a moment in time it was with her, singing through her very soul, but before she had the chance to get thoroughly proud of her self it slipped away again, just out of her reach.

It was like a game of keep away that she just couldn't win...

"Arhhh!" thoroughly frustrated she chucked the saber at the ground. It hit with a loud clank, shutting off, then rolled a few feet before coming to rest.

She stood there, fists clenched and grinding her teeth together.

"Why? Why won't it work when I want it to?"

"Because you're trying to hard."

Depa jumped a good foot in the air, whirling around at the sound of the gentle voice answering her question. She hadn't even noticed anyone else enter.

The man that stood there was tall and intimidating, broad shouldered his head clean shaven with fiercely intelligent dark eyes gazing back at her and blending not unpleasantly with even darker skin.

She vaguely recognized him. His name was Windu or some such thing, an aspiring Master she'd seen around on a few occasions. The popular opinion of most was that he should be on the Council, and he no doubt would be soon enough. She was no judge on such matters.

Remembering manners through her haze of shock Depa quickly bowed, blushing furiously.

"My apologies Master, I did not realize you were here."

The Jedi Master smiled, an expression that made his sharp features seem far more friendly. Depa allowed herself to relax ever so slightly.

"No apology is needed. You were focused on what you were doing, thats all." He said. His voice was as pleasant as his smile, Depa thought, deep and resonating. It was a soothing gentle sound, largely out of place with his intimidating stature.

Depa nodded slowly, not sure what to say and fully expecting another lecture.

Mace moved in to the circle of the sparring area, comeing to stand a short distance away from the young girl. Casually he gestured with his hand and her lightsaber flew into it. Still smiling, he tossed it to her and she caught it numbly.

"You're very good with a lightsaber, Depa. Not many Padawans your age can use a blade so skillfully." Mace said.

Depa looked at the lightsaber she now held in her hand, the fact that he somehow knew her name currently overridden by the pleasure his praise brought her.

"You really think so? T-Thanks." She managed to stutter, starting to smile herself.

"Why then, do you fail?"

The question knocked the smile right off her face. "I don't know... I try, really I do... maybe I'm just not meant to be a Jedi..." She looked down at the floor, shame faced.

"Exactly... you're trying to hard. The Force is always there. Always. You have to let it come to you. Trust it. Stop trying to beat it into submission. Do you understand?"

Depa shook her head. "As Yoda would say, 'Understand, I do not. But soon.' And if I don't... well, I reckon I could make a pretty decent farmer."

Mace laughed softly at this. "Then help you to understand, I will."

He shrugged out of his heavy brown hooded robe and pulled his own lightsaber from his belt, switching down the power setting.

"Trial and error is the best method of learning, I always say."

Three mock battles later Depa was tired and sweaty but satisfied that maybe she had finally learned something useful.

She'd actually managed to beat Master Windu once. While part of her suspected this was because he'd let her, her pride refused to believe he would do such a thing. And with his gentle instruction the Force had seemed to come so easily...

"Well fought, young one. Do you feel you are any closer to understanding now?" Mace asked as he retrieved his robe and slid into it. He didn't seem tired at all.

_'Must be nice.'_ she thought, wincing at her own sore muscles.

"Not really. But I feel I am well on the way to."

Mace smiled. "While arrogance is hardly a good thing, you should have more confidence in yourself. You fight well."

"Thank you Master, but I can't say I agree." Depa said, bowing politely. It was all she could do to get upright again.

Mace frowned. "You must trust in the Force, young one, but you also must learn to trust in yourself." he paused for a moment, thinking. "There's a tournament tomorrow for the apprentices, is there not? Are you entered?"

Depa shook her head. "No. I never bother entering those things. I wouldn't even make it past the first round..."

"You should." he replied simply, walking from the room.

Long after the clicking sound of his boot heels had faded, Depa still stood in the training room, thinking for the first time that maybe, just maybe, she could be a Jedi after all...

The next day Depa was up bright and early and in the cafeteria well before everyone else. She'd spent the night thinking, and her thoughts had finally brought her to the conclussion that she would indeed fight in the tournament today and that to do so she was going to need a good breakfast to keep her going.

She had taken the liberty of informing the knight in charge of setting up the brackets of her intentions, and while he had been mildly annoyed he had merely given her a short lecture on lateness and told her he'd see to it that she was fit in there somewhere.

Initially, she didn't really want to fight. Her brain supplied her with a rather large host of humiliating things that could happen...

"Focus." She told herself quietly. "Don't think about it."

Somewhere in the thick of her speculation the night before she'd puzzled about the mystery that was Mace Windu and her puzzleing had led her to an interesting conclussion. Maybe, just maybe, he was considering her for a Padawan. Why else would he have been watching her? Or for that matter, know her name? There where many apprentices, far to many for him to possibly be able to remember names unless he really wanted to.

Depa knew she shouldn't get her hopes up, she was probably wrong, but the idea of it was so terribly exciteing... if she could fight and win, maybe it would impress him enough that he would... it was almost too much to hope for...

Slowly the room began to fill with sleepy eyed apprentices, Knights, and Masters alike and Depa slipped out quietly to find a place to meditate before the Tourny began.

Never in her life had she felt so nervous. Would he even be watching? What if she lost? She could just imagine the look of disapointment on his face, the laughter of her fellow apprentices as she once again made a fool of herself...

Depa sat down on a nearby bench, suddenly feeling very sick.

Mace wouldn't be the only one watching, other Jedi would be too. Such a terribly big screw would surely convence them that she was not fit to be a Padawan... no one would want her...

"Focus Depa, focus."

"Heard, did you, that decide to fight young Depa did?"

"No, actually I hadn't."

"Strange, it is. Usually avoid tournaments, she does."

Master Yoda and Mace were casually strolling, or in Yoda's case, floating on a hover chair, through the halls, headed in the general direction of the training room. It was still some time until the tournament would start, but both wanted to be there when it did.

Yoda was watching Mace attentively, almost smirking. Somehow he must have known about the little training session Mace had had with the girl the day before.

"Wonder I do, at what changed her mind."

_'Could you spell it out any plainer?_ Mace thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"I think I might know... yesterday evening I gave her a bit of help with her lightsaber training. She's fairly skilled, as a matter of fact. I told her she should look into entering. Apparently she took my advice to heart" he said slowly.

Yoda nodded, as if this information was hardly news to him. And it probably wasn't.

"Thinking you are, of taking her for a padawan." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. Yes, actually I am. I have watched her a great deal Master, ever since I found her... she has potential. She just doesn't know it yet."

"Quick to anger, she is. Impulsive, easily frustrated. To on the right path set her, difficult would be. Patience, you would need."

Mace got the feeling that Yoda wasn't so much reprimanding him as warning him.

"I have patience, Master." he said. "And it wasn't very long ago that I was like that myself. I could help her over come her shortcomings, teach her to find peace."

"Attached to her, you are. Care for her, you do. Dangerous, such feelings are, especially when teaching one is. Beyond these feelings you must move, if teach her you intend."

"I can do it, Master, I know I can."

"Hope you are right, I do. Hope you are right."


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four:

Voices filled the chamber, many excited and loud, as the participants waited to hear who would fight who. Their audience such as it was was gathered around the edge of the arena, some offering encouragement to friends.

Depa stood among the group of Apprentices feeling very small indeed. She was one of the youngest and certainly the shortest. While others gathered with their friends and chatted and laughed, she stood alone.

Always different, feeling out of place, Depa was very much a loner. She couldn't think of anyone she would actually call a 'friend'. Certainly none of this lot.

The sick feeling from earlier returned. They were all so terribly much bigger and stronger than she was...

The terms of the fighting were simple enough. Three hits with your opponents saber and you were out, if you yielded you were out, if you stepped outside the boundary of the mats you were out. The winner advanced to the next round. Simple. And so many ways for her to totally mess it up.

Vaguely she became aware of the fact that the young Knight she had talked to earlier-What was his name? She couldn't seem to remember- was announcing the bracket set up... this didn't bring her any relief.

Her first opponent was to be Kit Fisto, a Nautolen boy and a Padawan a few years older than her. She had seen him training some weeks before... he was good. Fast and athletic, seemingly perfectly in tune with the Force. But like everyone he had his flaws. If she could only remember seeing any...

Time flies dreadfully fast when you're dreading something. All too soon Depa found herself standing on the large mat set up especially for the occasion, facing the tall, lithe Nautolen boy.

The Knight (She couldn't for the life of her remember his name) held a red hankerchief high in his hand. When it dropped, the fight would begin.

Depa found herself growing impatient, her lightsaber clutched in sweaty palms. She was doomed, she knew she was doomed, and it was better all around if it happened quickly.

Kit was the epitome of calm, an easy smile on his green face as his many head tails twitched amiably. She tried to smile back was afraid she failed at it rather dismally.

Moments flashed by and she saw a flash of red out of the corner of her eye as the handkerchief dropped and the knight stepped back.

Kit's lightsaber hissed to life, the green of the blade eerily similar in shade to his skin tone.

Depa ignited her own blade, thinking it terribly ironic that it was the same color as his, and sank into a defensive stance.

_'Let him come to me...'_ she thought.

Trying to remember what Master Windu had taught her the day before she opened her mind to let the Force in and felt the current of it wash through her, invigorating and vibrantly clear.

She could sense every being in the room, could feel the eyes on them. And she could sense Kit, could feel his happiness, his desire to win.

He stepped forward, bringing his saber down in an over head slash for her head. It never came close, her own blade hissing up to meet it. This gave her a surge of confidence.

Gracefully she spun away from him and then lunged in, fienting to his right. Swift as lightning he moved to block it, but she was no longer there. At the last second she'd spun around and dropped low, hacking at his waist. The blade struck home. It was all she could do to keep from yelling in delight.

_'One strike for me.'_

Kit, obviously suprised, leaped back and brung his saber up defensively. His initial thought had been that this would be an easy victory, she could tell. She'd show him. She'd show them all.

Boldly and almost violently she lunged forward again, striking rapidly and everywhere. Kit was hardpressed to parry her strikes and was slowly but steadily being forced backwards.

It was dangerous, she knew. If he got a chance to get out of her relentless flurry she was completely open to attack.

In those few moments, she lost herself. She was hardly aware of moveing, though she knew she was and fast. The Force seemed to roll through her in a wave, moving her comepletely of its own will.

Before she knew what was happening she hit Kit once, twice, three more times.

The stunned Nautolen boy shut off his lightsaber, wencing at the stinging pain her hits had caused that were now quickly forming inflamed red welts.

Depa felt fiercly proud. She'd made it through the first round. She didn't know how, but she had.

She returned her saber to her belt and she and Kit bowed to one another, then to the Knight ('Randon!' it finally came to her) before stepping off the mat.

"Good job." Kit said in well cultured tones as they were drawn back into the crowd of apprentices. "I've never seen anyone fight like that... it was rather humbling."

Depa grinned, blushing furiously. "Thanks. You weren't so bad yourself."

From his place amung the onlookers, Mace was frowning.

"Hmmm. Good, she is. But reckless. Bold." Yoda said from beside him.

"So are many others." Mace retorted, stubborn as ever. "It was an effective technique, if a little dangerous. If I could fine tone..."

"If, always if. Good enough, if is not. Know this, you do. Reckless she is, and reckless are you. A good combination, this is not."

Mace said nothing, not wanting to agree but unable to disagree. He had a point.

Yoda sighed. "Disagree with you, I do not. A good Master, you would be. Only worry for your well being, I do. If fail in training her you do, sad you would be. A repeat of your first Padawan... tragic, it would be."

"I know, Master. I have not completely decided yet myself. Only time will tell."

"Indeed. Now watch, we should. Starting again, they are."

Depa found herself facing a semi long wait while the rest of the fights were finished up. After chatting rather shortly with Kit, though he had been ever so friendly and she planned on seeking him out more often for now on, she had drifted off by herself once more, watching the crowd of onlookers.

He was there, Master Windu. Sitting next Yoda. She could see the pair quite well. And she could also clearly make out their frowns and Yoda's distinct look of disaproval.

Were they disapproving of her technique or something else? Had she been wrong to fight so fiercely? It had been reckless, she had to admit, but she had _won_...

Maybe that wasn't good enough. There was more to winning than just beating your opponent, Yoda always said.

Depa sighed, feeling shame once more course through her. What a fool! She had been so bent on winning, winning at any cost to impress the Master. In doing so all she was really doing was showing her lack of control. Master Windu wouldn't have any use for such Padawan.

What a fool!

Depa looked around at the other students, suddenly feeling angry. She was every bit as good as they were, if not better! But no Jedi would ever want her for a Padawan... because she was _reckless_. It wasn't fair!

She retreated the back of the group until her next fight came, feeling very bitter indeed.

Dimly she became aware of the fact that her name was being called... numb inside she stood and returned to the arena.

Her opponent this time was a tall, slender human boy around a the same age as her named Juan Lee.

He sneered at her as they walked into the arena and said out of the corner of his mouth, "Ready to loose, Billaba?"

She scowled back at him and replied just as quietly, "Keep dreaming fly boy."

Juan was an extremely arrogant boy, but for good reason. He was incredibly handsome for a boy so young, flawless in every way. Many of the other girls crushed on him, she knew. She was merely disgusted.

He was also very strong in the Force and skilled with a lightsaber. She had seen him in such tourneys before. He rarely ever lost. Something he was apparently determined to keep the same.

They both turned and bowed to Knight Randon, and then to each other. All the while Juan had a confident little smirk on his face.

Depa was suddenly possessed with the desire to nock that smirk right off that pretty little face of his... it was wrong to think this way, she knew, and dangerous to give into one's anger. But Juan was almost doing the exact same thing himself, so why shouldn't she?

A flash of red just outside the range of her vision signaled the start of the fight and her lightsaber snapped to life.

She rushed the other Apprentice, intending to use the same technique as earlier... Only it didn't work. Once again she couldn't get a firm grasp on the Force. Every time she reached for it it slid away, as though her anger made her mind slippery.

Juan blocked her attempts with ease, grinning all the while. Efortless he lifted a hand and the Force surged, pushing her back. Simultatiously his own clear blue blade smacked into hers, hard.

The shock shot through Depa's arm and into her shoulder, loosening her grip on her saber as his Force shove pushed her back. Another hit and her blade flew from her hand to land on the ground a few feet away with a loud clatter.

Desperate, she scrambled to call on the Force to return the blade to her hand, and it once again evaded her.

Juan's blade smashed into her shoulded and the pain was excrutiating even though it was a low setting.

That was when it hit her- she didn't have to be a better fighter to win this battle, and she could repair the damage her violent style had caused earlier. He was giving into his anger, his desire to win. Now he was the one atacking violently, reckless. She could be better than that. Even if she did loose, it wouldn't matter. Because winning in anger wasn't really winning in at all.

Filled with new determination Depa dropped down and kicked out at his knees. He leaped over it easily, bringing his saber over his head and down.

She saw stars, not entirely sure were the blade hit but only that it hit incredibly hard and suddenly her head hurt a great deal... so much for loosing with honor, she thought vaguely.

As though from a great distance she heard someone shout, "Stop!" And then darkness washed over her vission and it didn't seem to matter anymore...


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five:

"Has the boy been spoken to?"

"Yes, he insists it was an accident and we didn't sense any deception..."

"Will she be alright?"

"Yes. She'll have a bad headache for a couple of days but other than that... lucky, if you had gotten her here any later she would have been stuck with a not so interesting scar..."

"Live with a headache, she can. Thankful no worse damage was done, am I."

"Funny thing, really..."

The voices seemed to float around Depa from a great distance away, flickering in and out of her semi conscious mind.

As the darkness of unconsciousness released its noose tight hold around her mind, she became aware of several things at once.

Firstly, her head hurt. Bad. There was a steady throbbing in her temples that refused to go away in spite of her best efforts to numb it with the Force.

Second, she was no longer in the training room, but on a very comfortable cot she suspected was in the medical wing.

Third, there was something very cool and pleasant resting on her forhead.

And finally, she was undoubtedly surrounded by people. She could here them and feel them, though the concentration it took to do so hurt considerably.

Slowly, almost hesitant, she opened her eyes.

And had to cut back a scream.

Hovering over her, her hazy vision vaguely made out what appeared to be a big green blob with large, pointed ears...

Eventually her vision began to clear and she realized that it was only Yoda, grinning down at her happily.

"Master...?" She started to sit up but a gently firm hand pushed her back down.

"Oh no you don't, not yet. That was quite a hit you took."

Depa looked over to see the speaker was one of the healers, an elderly woman she didn't know.

She complacently settled back down on her pillow. Moving was dizzying and she wasn't in any particular hurry to do so again.

But the brief movement had given her a wide enough range of view that she saw who her other visitors were.

Knight Randon D'Kridge, looking a little pale, stood at the foot of her bed. Having been excited with receiving the honor of overseeing the Apprentices' tournament he had never even considered that there might be a semi serious injury to any of the students, and he was obviously ill prepared to handle it.

Next to him, she was pleased to note, was Kit. His wide black eyes gazed at her with what she could only assume was concern, his many headtales twitching and writhing anxiously.

But the one she noticed above all was the tall, dark skinned man standing behind them, keeping his distance from the small group.

Master Mace Windu's stern face was as unreadable and impassive as ever, but Depa took comfort in the fact that he was there all the same. Maybe he wasn't TOO disappointed with her violence earlier...

"Scared us, you did, when unconscious you fell." Yoda said from next to her. "Hit you so hard, young Juan did not mean to do."

Depa nodded silently, and reached up to feel her forehead. There was a bacta patch resting snugly just below her hairline, and she felt the faintest sliver of skin where she was quite certain there should have been hair.

That was a potentially embarrassing mark, but she could live with it. It'd grow back soon enough.

"Where is he anyway?" She asked suddenly. After all, this was his fault. You think he would have the nobility to at least come and see if she was ok.

"I think he was a little upset. He plays at being this big strong warrior, but when it really comes down to it...welll... I think I saw him slip off to meditate somewhere." Kit supplied by way of answer.

Yoda chuckled softly. "Much growing up to do, he still has."

Depa sighed, dropping her hand to rest it in her lap. "It was my fault, really. I wanted to beat him so bad..."

"Learned a valuable lesson, both of you have. Never again so arrogant will he be. And learned something of true victories, you did."

Depa found herself blushing with shame. "Still... if I hadn't been so aggressive... all I wanted to was..." she stopped, glancing over at Master Windu.

Yoda chuckled again. "Seeking to impress, you were. Not so foolish am I that this I could not see. Used all the wrong methods, you did." he jabbed his gimmer stick in her direction, nodding to himself. "Yet realize this, you have. What say you now, apprentice?"

"I was a fool. In seeking to impress...someone, I may very well have completely ruined their image of me."

"Hmm, indeed. Ruined, you think your chances are?"

"Yes. I'm not ready... I am impulsive and reckless. If I am to be anything but a farmer I need to work on these weaknesses."

"Understand well, you do."

Depa smiled wryly. "No Maser, not yet. But I will."

Yoda smiled himself, exchanging a significant glance with Master Windu.

"Learned the point, I think she has. Make up for her errs, she is willing to do. Refreshing it is, to such wisdom see in one so young, yes? Many more experienced, to admit their wrongs willing they would not be."

Depa's blushed deepened. "Not wisdom, Master. Just a majorly wounded since of pride and the only logical explanation."

"So certain are you, that ready to be a Padawan you are not?"

Depa shook her head. "I thought I was. But now I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't even be a Jedi..."

"Ah, shame, that is. No someone who will be very disappointed to hear this, I do." Yoda glanced significantly at Master Windu, and Depa felt a dim hope rise within her heart once more.

"I would hate to disappoint someone, Master."

Yoda waved his gimmer stick in the direction of Randon and Kit.

"Leave us, you will. Talk to young Depa alone, we wish. Tell you of what is said, later I expect she will."

Depa watched the pair file quietly out of the room with growing trepidation. She could think of only one reason why they would wish to speak to her alone, and she couldn't imagine... it was too good to be true.

At last only the Healer remained, but a slightly amused glare on Yoda's part sent her off in the other direction to find something else to do.

"Master Yoda I do not understand..."

Master Windu interrupted her. "You were completely accurate in your analysis of yourself- you are aggressive, impulsive, quick to anger. And I've noticed a certain lack of self esteem..." At this Depa blushed again. "A dangerous combination. I've thought about it and thought about it and the more I've thought the more I've come to realize that what you really need is a good teacher, someone who can guide you and instruct you and train you to over come these faults. It is obvious that even the best efforts of instructors here in the temple have failed, and I would hate to see all the potential you possess thrown to the wind because of poor training."

Depa wanted to sink right in to her blankets and disappear. It wasn't the teacher's fault, she knew, but her own... if she only worked harder, trained more, put some initiative into it she was sure...

"Master Yoda and I have thought long and hard on this matter." Mace continued. "And finally we came up with a solution..."

Yoda nodded his agreement. "A good Master you need, and who better to teach of peace than one who reckless himself once was? Master Windu's Padawan, you are to be, should you object not." His eyes twinkled mischievously. "But all, that is not. Know you, of your heritage?"

Depa took in a sharp breath, hardly daring to believe her ears. She looked at Master Windu to see him smiling, and a profound happiness filled her. It took her a moment to realize that Yoda had asked another question,

"What? Oh, yeah, sure." she replied, frowning. Her loner attitude had left her with much time to learn about her own self. From the time she was first able to realize what she was, her species, she had longed to know everything there was to know about them. So she had searched, absorbing the information like a sponge.

She'd even gone so far as to look for any Chalactans sharing her surname, but hadn't succeeded in finding any.

Depa knew that such information would have no place in her life as a Jedi, but she had _longed_ to know, to have some sense of self and meaning.

"I've studied my people some. I find it rather fascinating." She said shortly. She got the feeling that the two Jedi Masters would not approve if they knew of her obsession.

"Good. Then easier for you, this will be. To learn the ways of a Chalactan adept, you are. Such adepts your parents were, except you for the learning they will, when of the right age you become. Teach you calmness and control, it will."

Depa felt her heart skip a beat. In her studies she had learned of the Adepts, leaders of the Chalactan religion. They were an eerily intuitive lot, with control and serene calmness that rivaled the Jedi's.

"My parents were Adepts?" She asked numbly. Information on a Jedi's parents was not something they came by often. Such attachments were forbidden.

"Indeed. But matter now, it does not." Yoda said gravely, giving her a look that told her quite plainly that any further questions on the subject would get her no answers.

"When? When am I to go? Where? How long?"

Yoda chuckled. "Slow down, slow down. Many questions have you and think so fast old Yoda can not. To the temple of the adepts you will go, when thirteen you become. Stay with them you will, for one standard year."

One standard year? That was a long time for a Jedi to be away from traditional training, Depa knew. But she dare not question the Master's reasons for doing this. She was excited, and why ruin a good thing?

"Until then and after," Master Windu said, "I will train you as my Padawan."

Depa was silent for a long moment, absorbing it all. At long last she asked tentavly, "What if I remain by my decision that I am not ready to be a Padawan? What will happen them."

Yoda frowned. "The to the Agricultural corps, most likely you will go. Many other Jedi capable of handling such a wild spirit, there are not."

Master Windu smiled warmly. "There is so much that I can teach you. And I'm not any were near as stodgy as the other apprentices make me out to be, I promise."

Depa laughed. "Ok, ok, I'll do it. I am honored that you would want to teach me, Master Windu."

"And I am honored that you would allow me to do so, Padawan Billaba."


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six:

Mace was infinitely happy that Yoda had come around to his way of thinking, though he strongly suspected the little Master had his own reasons for doing so.

There were many reasons why he wanted to train young Depa, not the least of which being it was he who had discovered her. Every since that day when he had brought that tiny little baby before the Council he had watched her grow, if from a distance. She probably had no idea. It was probably better that way.

Then there was the matter of her rather quick temper... he'd been there once. He knew what it was to love to fight, to use one's sheer strength to meet your ends. Truth be told, he still did love to fight he was just better at controlling it. He could help her with that better than any other Master, on that at least he and Yoda agreed.

This alone was enough to make him want her as his Padawan. And then the other day something very odd indeed had happened...

Mace's biggest talent was his ability to 'see' an person, indeed some time's a moment's, breaking point. By looking at another being or situation through the Force, the world for him became crystallized... every little fissure and crack he could see. He liked to call them 'Shatter points'.

During his and Depa's little training session he had looked at the girl through the Force and what he had seen there had shocked him to the core- Depa didn't have a Shatter point.

Oh certainly, he could pick out a million little weak points on her body that with the slightest touch he could break. But he knew, somehow, that none of these points would be her Shatter point, none would result in her 'breaking' so to speak. And usualy there was more than that in a person, there was a weakness there was a point, sometimes even a point in _time_ that was there breaking point.

Depa had none of that.

The crystallized structure that was her life extended on...and on... and on... and then there was something, some big turning point, he like to think of it as _destiny_. And then it continued on...

He didn't know what to make of it. Something big lay in her future, he knew, though he couldn't even begin to guess at what it was.

Mace also knew that whatever it was, he had some part in it. And he wasn't so sure that that was a good thing.

A/N: Sorry for shortness. Next chapter will be a long one I promise.


End file.
